First attempt: Try, but fail.
Partner 1 calls me: Do you have time to work on Project X?
Me: I'm swamped this week, but I can do it next week.
P1: Great, I'll tell Partner 2 you can do it.
P2: Glad you're on board. I scheduled a call with the client tomorrow. Get up to speed on the documents before then.
Second attempt: Fail.
Partner 3 calls me: Hi. I think you'll really like working with this new client. They need blah blah blah boring documents. Here is five minutes of background information. Great, so get started.
WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID: I won't be able to work on the documents this week. If you need them immediately, you should probably ask another associate.
WHAT I SAID: ...Okay. I won't be able to get started right away. What is the timeframe?
P3: We should get something to them soon.
Me: This will take a while, and we don't have all the information we need. What if I email the client today with a list of questions. That way they know we're on it.
P3: No, we need to send them all the documents.
Me: What if we send them a subset of documents. It will take me a while to do all of them.
P3: No, we need to send them all the documents.
WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID: I won't be able to complete the documents on this timeframe.
WHAT I SAID: Well, I'll take a look and see what I can do.
The next day I send him an email saying that I won't get the documents done until Friday.
Partner 3 calls me four more times over the next day and a half. BUT!
Third attempt: Silver lining.
P3: Just send me whatever you have. We need to get them something immediately.
Me: I haven't done anything. I don't have time to do this until Friday.
P3: Well, what can you get done today?
Me: Nothing. I can't do anything until Friday.
P3: I guess I will do them.
Me: Okay, thanks. I can take over on Friday.
Victory! I didn't cave or apologize. Did I piss off the partner, well, can't do much about that. Except stay up all night working. And I have done way too much of that lately.
My failure to clearly say NO resulted in the partner being annoyed, me being under a lot of pressure to spend quite a bit of time on work that I dislike, AND having to delegate a project that I really would like to do because I won't have time for it. Lesson learned... maybe this time it will sink in.
Hey, it's a good start! Saying no is hard, especially when it's couched in terms of your expertise. And good for you for not apologizing (I am TERRIBLE about that)!
ReplyDeleteAgree with AAL. Saying "No" is really hard! Especially for people like me. I'm a people pleaser. I want to tell everyone "yes!" But at least you're making progress and you know how to handle it better in the future!
ReplyDeleteNo is seriously the scariest thing to say at work. But it's great that the third partner respected your expertise enough to agree to your schedule terms. I get the impression that partner demands expand to fill the space allowed to them, so hopefully your determined pushback will shrink that space a bit. I'm curious--had you ever told the partners that you were too busy to take something on at the moment before you started thinking about part time? Is this a new dynamic for them, or do you feel more self conscious about it because you're trying to do something you perceive as difficult (or have professional guilt about)?
ReplyDeleteI totally relate! I've learned to pushback by blaming the other partners I'm already working for. For example, if I'm jammed up doing something for Partner 1 and Partner 2 comes in looking for my time, I'll say something like--"I don't think I can help with that given the timing for Deal 1. Maybe you can coordinate with Partner 1 though as she will probably know the deal timelines better." Of course that doesn't work if Partner 1 is just going to throw you under the bus.
ReplyDeleteSaying no is always better than saying yes and failing to get it done, or doing shoddy work. Now you might be wondering whether you pissed off the partner, but if you hadn't stood up for yourself, you could be certain you did.
ReplyDeleteOf course, in this scenario, staying up all night or other unreasonable accommodations aren't considered an option.