So E. McPan mentioned in the comments that her parents told her they bought her at K-Mart.
My parents -- actually, it's all my mother, she's the inventive one in the family -- have told me many questionable facts over the years. The two that stick in my head are:
1. If you eat ants, you'll learn how to swim.
2. Eating off the floor is healthy, because dirt has Vitamin B12.
(The thing with my mother is that I can never tell if she believes it.)
JW can't think of any, which may explain why he's so well-adjusted.
What lies did your parents tell you?
my older brother, when i was 2 and he was 16, sat me on his lap and showed me a picture of a house on fire. then he told me that the girl that lived in that house picked her nose! (it didn't stop me.)
ReplyDeleteOh, if we're bringing older brothers into the equation, I could tell you all sorts of stories...
ReplyDeleteMom told me that I was named after her aunt's dog. The worst, though, was an extended theory that I got all the 'delicate English genes' and my brothers got all her 'strong Scottish genes'. Every time I got a sunburn or a cavity, they'd all pity my poor deficient genes. My brothers really bought into it, for obvious reasons.
ReplyDelete"Braveheart' was a bad time for me. My brothers were very upset that my people had oppressed their people so terribly.
Actually, that was my older sister. The sad thing is, I'm adopted, as are a majority of my siblings, so having kids just appear out of nowhere wasn't unusual. So it seemed like a legit explanation. Later explanations included a grocery-store toy machine (the kind you put a quarter in and get a little egg with a prize inside), and coke machines.
ReplyDeleteMy mom once told me that only the Catholics were "right" about their religion choice. She subsequently left the Catholic church.
ReplyDeleteMine used to claim that if I ate carrots, I'd never need glasses. I'm a minus 7.5 in each eye with my glasses script right now ...
ReplyDeletehttp://butterflyfish1.blogspot.com/2009/04/lies-my-parents-told-me.html
ReplyDeleteThe comment was getting ridiculous so I made it into a post.
The most memorable for me was that if I ate a watermelon seed, a watermelon would grow in my belly. There was a holiday at my grandmother's house, when I was approximately 8 or 9, that I swallowed a watermelon seed (before they started engineering them all to be white and soft and harmless), and was PETRIFIED that I was going to look pregnant, and that I wouldn't know how to get it out.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in an area of dense forests with lots of snakes. We'd frequently find them in our backyard or side yards and we were taught from a young age how to identify the poisonous ones and what to do if we saw one. One day when I was about 9 we found one in the house (we think the cat brought it in through her pet door) and I was suddenly terrified there could be a snake in my bed. My dad reassured me that "snakes can't climb stairs." I believed him absolutely and never thought of it again.
ReplyDeleteUntil I came home for Christmas my junior year of college (I'm now 20) and my dad told me he'd found a snake in the attic. I immediately said, "but how? snakes can't climb stairs!" I had no idea that wasn't true and had even passed that little nugget along to many other friends and acquaintances.