Women associates leave because they see few if any women partners who reflect a 'balance of life' success story. Instead, they see variations of the theme—the male model with lipstick. What they need to see is a sea change in attitude about part-time partnership opportunities.Does being successful as a big-firm female lawyer mean you either have to follow the "male model" (no family or spouse at home with the kids) or work part-time (presumably, this is the "female model")? This misses the larger point about work-life balance at big firms: that almost everybody has commitments outside of work, and that allowing people the flexibility to honor those commitments goes a long way toward making them happy and retaining them.
The quote reminds me of an incident at a Career Services session with a headhunter who was telling us about the Boston market. I asked which firms had a reputation for being more flexible. "For instance, at the firm where I worked this past summer, face time wasn't a big deal, and a lot of people worked from home. Can you tell me about other firms that share that attitude?"
Her response was, "Oh, sweetie, just work as hard as you can and don't worry about working part-time right now. Maybe one day you'll decide to get married and have kids, and then you can think about that."
I was furious. (Also, four months pregnant, so the horse was out of the barn on that one.)
Part-time will always be a ghetto. It can't become the "female model."
I agree totally with what you said! EVERYONE with a real life has commitments outside of work. It is sad that we spend so much time becoming our job and put our lives on hold. I don't want to be stuck in the "part time" model BUT I also don't want to miss out on a unique opportunity to spend face time with my kid while he is young. I don't know if two hours before his bed time and the weekends (which are full of errands) is enough time to spend with him. Seriously, life is so short- and I don't want to look back and wish I savored my kids more. But I also dont want to be stuck as an empty nest parent without a successful career to fall back on.
ReplyDeleteLife and Mom guilt would be so much easier if firms would just lighten up!
Oh, I hate getting some vague, indirect or dismissive answer to a direct question.
ReplyDeletePerfectly reasonable question:
"Can you tell me about other firms that share that attitude?"
Her answer was basically, "No, I can't."
But did she HEAR your question, ya know? Did it register with her or anyone else there that day that you belong to a growing constituency of new lawyers who place a premium value on work-life balance?
Gudnuff, clearly she did NOT hear my question. She looked at me and assumed.
ReplyDeleteI asked her again, specifically saying that I had NOT asked about part-time and wanted to know about firms that support flexible working arrangements. Then she said something like, "All firms require you to work lots of hours."
By the way, I'm not saying women SHOULDN'T work part-time, or that I wouldn't consider it. I'm saying it's dangerous for this to become the default "women's option."
ReplyDeleteEuwww..I can't believe she said that!!! And the "sweetie" - so condescending!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete