The other day a friend said something about graduation. "I don't think I'm going," I said. "It would be fun to see everybody, but I'm not graduating and I'll have already started my summer job." (Hahvahd does not deign to work with the schedules of peasants. Graduation is on Wednesday and Thursday. Although, to the school's credit, this will be changing in 2010.)
He told me about how he graduated from college mid-year too but marched with his class and was glad he did. I still wasn't convinced.
Then he asked if I would march next year instead. "I don't know," I said. "It would be weird walking with a different class. And then I'll have to take time off from my real job. I've already got a couple of degrees, I don't see the big deal about marching." (In fact, my last Hahvahd graduation was not a good experience. I was bitter because I had hated my program, even more bitter that it left me and JW broke, and it poured the entire time so we were all soaking wet by the end.)
But then he made me stop and think. "What about your parents?"
Ah, yes. The parents. I called them up tonight and asked, "Do you want to see me graduate?" And my mother, who practically cried when I told her I was applying to law school, who enlisted relatives to talk me out of it, who called me at work at random times to yell at me, said, "Of COURSE we want to see you graduate. We MUST see you graduate." "But it's on a weekday," I said, "and if it's this year I won't really be graduating, and [my sister-in-law]'s due date is right around then." "You tell us when to be there and we will be there," she said.
After we hung up I started becoming enthusiastic about the idea. I was thinking I'd go this year. I'd walk with my class, it wouldn't be a big deal taking a day or two off from my summer associate job, and besides, J.K. Rowling will be the commencement day speaker! So I won't actually graduate. It's about the experience, right?
Then my father called and said, "Wait, are they actually going to call you up on stage and hand you something? Because if everybody else is going to get the diploma and walk across the stage, and you're just going to sit there and they'll say, 'See you next year,' it's not worth it."
Hmm. I assumed it would be the same as everybody else, but it's worth checking. But then I started thinking, maybe I'm being silly and I should just march next year when I've actually graduated. It's not like I won't know ANYBODY, and that's not really the point, is it?
I think it makes sense to graduate when I've actually graduated. Right? I guess it shouldn't be such a big decision. The fact that I'm on the fence probably means it doesn't matter.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
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7 comments:
I don't know -- the JK Rowling thing might push it over the edge for me.
I hated graduation from college. It was outside, it was hot as hell, and everybody was hungover. The hangovers continued as the girl behind me puked in the grass and there was nowhere we could go to escape the aroma. Good times.
It sounds like you were on the fence about going at all until you talked to your mother, and now you want to do it because you know they are excited. So it seems to make more sense to go when they will have the opportunity to photograph you accepting your diploma (assuming you are doing this more for them than yourself). They probably don't care whether you receive your diploma with the "other" class--they are only going to see YOU :-)
Could you do both? Sit this year to be with your class, and then march next year and get awarded your diploma? Your parents could come next year, but you'd get the feeling of accomplishing something with the people you have grown close to. Just a thought!
I didn't walk in high school (transferred middle of junior year and didn't have connection to new school) or college (7 months pregnant and not in the mood!) and my mother basically said, "In case it wasn't clear, you MUST walk across a stage after law school or I will hurt you." LOL! I think it's more for them than for you. So I guess you just need to have the conversation early. Believe me, hearing about how you didn't graduate "properly" for years and years and YEARS may suck way more than just inconveniencing yourself for one day and getting it over with.
JK Rowling will be there? Hell, I want to go to your graduation!
I'm graduating this semester from my masters program, and it's kinda sad because all of the people from my class have already graduated and moved on, and I really only know three people in this class. I'm still going, but it's just not the same.
I hope they'll let you walk with your class. It would be dumb not to let you, since it's not like they're actually giving out the diplomas that day, right? I dunno about Harvard, but ours get mailed to us many months later.
Honestly I did not enjoy my law school graduation for various reasons but did it for my parents and husband. The best part of it was celebrating before and after with the close friends I made, my family, and my best friend who came for my graduation. I think the worst part is graduating and THEN studying for the bar. YUCK! But you should do what's best for you!
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