If you've been following my blog over the past few months, you may have noticed that I was a little pessimistic about having a newborn. I have never really been the kind of person who coos over newborns. I've never known quite what to do when handed an infant other than hold them, and I always feel like I'm holding them wrong. So I thought that I'd just have to stick it out for the first month or two, when the baby couldn't do much except suck and poop, and then I'd have a fun three-month old who could actually recognize me and interact with me.
I was totally wrong. Newborns can do all sorts of things. They can be sound asleep and suddenly fling their arms and legs open wide without opening their eyes. They can be screaming their heads off while being changed and then catch a glimpse of themselves in the mirror and become entranced. They can snuggle into you, drunk with milk, and wake up hungry and try to nurse on your sweatshirt. They can make all sorts of entertaining noises and expressions. They can stare into your face intently as you try to figure out what they're looking at.
Being a new parent is tough in all the ways that you've heard, especially the physical demands of breastfeeding and recovering from delivery. (C-section recovery is NO FUN!) But having a newborn is pretty amazing. You don't have to know what to do with them -- you can just watch them for hours and never be bored. And when in doubt, use the 5 S's.
I wondered if I would fall in love with my baby immediately or if it would take me some time. When I first saw him, I didn't suddenly feel an emotional shift. Instead, it was like he was coming home. I don't love him like I love JW or my parents. It's more this intense feeling of knowing that he belongs to me. Caring for him and protecting him isn't just our responsibility or our job -- it's more essential than that. We made him.
It's funny, people keep asking us who he looks like, but I don't look at him and see me and JW. Instead, I look at JW's face, and mine in the mirror, and see traces of our baby.
