Here's a milestone I was hoping not to reach -- forty-one weeks as of today. I was feeling fine about being overdue, despite the increasing physical discomfort and mood swings (probably harder on JW than on me). I was ready for the baby to come in his own time. The non-stress test today showed that he was still healthy and doing well.
But then at my doctor's appointment, she asked me, as she has for the past few weeks, how I felt about being induced. And I said, like I do every time, that as long as the baby is healthy I don't want any medical intervention. Usually the conversation ends with, "Let's hope you deliver before your next appointment and we won't have to worry about it." Now, time is growing short. Outcomes are dramatically worse after 42 weeks -- I shuddered when she used the term "fetal demise." She wanted to schedule an induction for next Tuesday and I bargained her down to Friday. The baby is also not in the best position. He's face up, which means the possibility of painful back labor, a longer delivery, and increased likelihood of C-section if he doesn't turn.
Even before I hit my due date, people (including strangers) asked me if I was going to get induced. I hated it when people asked me that. It was like being cursed. To put it in the law school context, to me it's like asking a 3L, "If you don't pass the bar, do you think you'll look for temp work doing document review?" It happens all the time, but it doesn't mean you want to think about it.
I nodded and asked questions and acted rational throughout the appointment, but I got more upset the longer I thought about it. I kept thinking about all the advice I had gotten, and believed, through my pregnancy. If I shouldn't take the 40-week due date seriously because it's only an estimate, then why does exactly 42 weeks mark disaster? If my body knows how to have this baby, then why isn't it working? I was ready to accept whatever happened during labor, but it feels different to plan it this way.
JW calmed me down -- he's good at that -- and we're thinking about scheduling for next Tuesday after all. I guess it could still happen naturally, but I feel discouraged. I know, I know, the important part is actually having the baby. One way or another I won't be pregnant in a week or so.
